GIRLS AND GUNS: Not Always Sexy

Old people and guns do not mix. How do I know? Well first, just look at this picture. Her upper arm fat will begin wiggling to the reverb on that weapon and destroy her bones, if not her helmut hair. Second, I think I saw my Grandma trying to shoot a crow and when I took the crow’s side, that was it for me. Her punishment was always the same: she’d catch you unawares and sit on you. 280 lbs, at least. I do not like what guns do to old people. Grandmas in particular.

A woman, a mother, a woman old enough to be a Grandmother, gave a mentally ill young man guns that were used to kill 20 5-year-old children in Sandy Hook. Her too, but there is a symmetry in that. In the most repressed or suppressed of minds, she simply could not have believed giving him guns was the right thing to do. It just feels impossible.

I do not believe that any citizen of the United States should have an auto or semi-authomnatic gun unless they have been trained within an inch of his or her life. That training should focus – as all gun training focuses – on how not to shoot somebody. Cops, military, etc. excluded.

I still witness the needs of guns in rural America: Two shotgun blasts sent bears running from a neighborhood where kids were out playing. Little different use than Granny is thinking about in the picture.

Shotguns, hunting rifles, six-shooters….Hey, the ammo belt is soooo sexy slung low over the jeans….are all fine by me.

Because really, Grandma, if you need as many rounds as that gun you are clutching holds, you are a lousy shot.

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