The first time I saw this picture was about six seconds after America was eliminated from the 2014 World Cup. When I saw the picture, however, I knew we had actually won the match. 

Tim Howard is so unbelievably hot, it made losing the tournament worth it, if that’s what it took to focus in on his thighs. I mean look at them: They are longer than I-95. The six pack, the tatts, the dirt, the growl. Is this a hot American man or what? 

I was a futbol goalie and know the pain of endless attack. Some of my fullbacks and halfbacks will no doubt read this post and say “screw you, goalie, whining about the same old shit.” But believe me, Tim Howard was out in the rain, on the edge of the abyss with his defensemen. And damn, did he provide a stabilizing center.  Damn, did he fight back. Tim Howard proved he’s hot on the inside too and I love that.

It’s hard to find a beautiful man with the heart of a lion: Believe me, I’ve looked. But if everybody grabs a little Tim, a little “oh God this sucks but I will handle it,” we’ll be a greater country.

It’s all about being hot on the outside – and in. 



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