WHAT COUGARS WANT: Follow this dude home

 

 

This guy really turns me on:

It is because I just finished writing this book:  http://amzn.to/Y3SS9p

 

I don’t care if he’s ugly from the front. I don’t care if he lives in a recycled shipping container. I just know he’s got the greens and I’ve got the blender and tons of speeds. My credit is so good I have the Lexus of blenders.  I’ve also got vintage Yves St Laurent to tote it in. 

 

He’s young and I’m older and that means fun.  OH BABY, LET’S WHIRL 

 

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NO, IT’S A SKINNY GREEN SMOOTHIE

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           With my crowd, it’s been funny writing a health book. Most of them have spent time in physical rehab for wrist and elbow problems: tennis, skeet shooting, drinking alcohol. You know, typical repetitive stress injuries like from typing. 

           I can get them to drink many things, but I just cannot get them to drink a green one. John yelled “looks like the river in August!” when I made him one. Poppy asked if Diego had mowed the lawn. I gave Mrs. Pomeranze one and she said “Girl, you’ve been living in New York too long if this is what you drink…” 

         And so my trip to spread the word in Texas failed. But many have failed the first time. When I return and hear the shouts of IS THAT A DAQUIRI!, I’ll be even better armed with new and improved green smoothies. I’ll fight them off, just as the Commanches did all those years ago. 

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MAMA KNOWS: REACHING FOR AGELESSNESS WITH SKINNY GREEN SMOOTHIES

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I really don’t know what the abuela is reaching for…..I know what it’s SHAPED like and therefore, I would put it in a green smoothie.

That’s not to say I whirl all dick-shaped fruits and veggies. I do not. Sometimes, I set them on the counter and laugh at them. But fruits and vegetables are so agreeable, they grow in funny shapes just to amuse us. How can you NOT like them? 

So, I’m making a special green smoothie for strangely shaped fruits and veggies:

 

THE CROOKED BULBOUS GREEN SMOOTHIE

1 stalk celery, with leaves

1 cucumber, washed, halved, seeded and chopped

Juice of 1 lemon

2 peach halves drizzled with raw honey, preferably grilled with a little char

1 cup greens of your choice

1 tablespoon chia seeds 

Peach flavored dark tea to taste

Ice

Put the celery, cucumber and lemon in the blender and pulse until broken down.

Add the peaches, greens, chia and cover with the tea. Blend, adding ice through the top until the desired thickness is reached. Serve. 

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People Do Weird Things With Melons: It’s Always Been The Way

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This is a weird picture and I don’t like it. It’s hitting my first Star Trek buttons, where my older brothers lurk. 

They must have sat on me during an episode with an egghead-shaped alien and broke wind. Freud doesn’t have literature about this trauma. How could he? No t.v..

Melon Head Smoothie

1/2 cantaloupe

1 cup basil

1/2 cup spinach

2 tablespoons freshly ground flax seeds

Pure water

Ice

 

1. Put the smoothie, basil, spinach and flax in the blender. Cover with water.

2. Blend, and with the motor running, drop ice through the top of the blender until the desired thickness is reached.

 

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Don’t Be A Fat Head: Losing and Gaining Weight Rewires Your Brain

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Guys like Dr Mark Hyman have been telling us this stuff for years. Food actually changes your DNA. (www.mrmarkyman.com). You can get your own metabolism to process fat faster, keep blood sugar levels stable so you don’t get cravings, satisfy food needs you misread as a need for a Snickers, unswell joints, clear your head and sleep better. Green #smoothies are a great little delivery device for all that. 

Here’s the next logical step: Not only does food have an impact on your DNA, it changes your neurology as well. You gain and lose a lot of weight, drop weight quickly and put it back on, etc., and as you do so, you rewire your brain for a resistance to weight loss. Your nerve literally send out signals you don’t want them too when you try to drop weight. This sucks. 

DO NOT go up and down with your weight. Lose it responsibly, with balance and logic. If you don’t, it literally messes with your head. So STOP IT. 

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Facebook page       SkinnyGreenSmoothies  

 

                

Yeah, She’ll Do It When I’m Testing: Skinny Green Smoothie Cats

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LOLcats is so over. Now, those sneaky furry things have their whiskers in our smoothies. What next? Sleeping in the bed?

When I test a new smoothie, I often have my back turned, whirling the drink, pouring, whirling more, adding something else. That’s when she makes her move: When I’m off balance. That’s when she switches from carnivore to herbivore without anything or anyone knowing it. Even God. That’s how sneaky the feline is…..

Black Cat Green Smoothie

Almond milk gives those wild spicy berries a place to dance. 

1-2 cups blackberries and/or blueberries

1 cup baby spinach leaves

1 tablespoon chopped mint (NOT catnip)

Juice of one lemon

2 tablespoons ground flax seeds

Unsweetened plain almond milk to cover

Ice

1. Put the fruit in the blender. Cover with spinach, mint, lemon juice and ground flax. Cover all with almond milk and whirl, dropping ice through the top of the blender until thick. Drink it. Don’t let the cat see. 

 

 

Mr. Raspberry Saw What You Did: Skinny Green Smoothies http://amzn.to/1vrKJJB

Mr Raspberry saw you. He saw you throw a handful of his people into your blender and

 grind away. He thought, “this barbarism reminds me of Sarah Palin and the turkey.” He

 blushes. Then he thinks of the 19th century Grape-blight and die off. Millions heaped

 upon millions of unmoving, lifeless forms. He feels.

 

 What Mr. Raspberry doesn’t understand – like so many tragic heroes – it that the very

 thing that makes him beautiful – his red bursting color – is the reason he will die. That

 red means phytonutrients that flush out cells of toxins and fight internal inflammation

 that causes cancers and diabetes.

 

 That red has a special phytonutrient called a “raspberry ketone” that offers huge promise

 in the fight against obesity. Image what it can do for those last pesky 10 you just can’t

 loose.

 

 Raspberry Rocket Green Smoothie    WEIGHT LOSS SPECIAL

 1 cup raspberries

1 teaspoon raspberry vinegar or lemon juice to taste

1 cup spinach

Juice of 1-2 oranges

1 tablespoon raw honey

1 tablespoon chia seeds 

Pure water

Ice

      1.Put the first three ingredients in the blender. Squeeze in the orange juice, add honey and seeds, and

       use water to cover any remaining ingredients.2Blend, dropping ice through the whirling machine to      

      make the smoothie cold and thick.

 

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CLIP ART IS WEIRDLY COMPELLING: Skinny Green Smoothies

http://amzn.to/1pNv445

 

 After writing a book that relies on fresh vegetables, I look for visuals that draw you in. Everyone does it these days

In my searches, images hurl from a distant pass reminding me of dittos, film strips, handouts and logos of yore. Retro, delightful, sweet.

But what’s up with the cucumber in this vegetable clip art? That guy knows he is going somewhere DARK. Look at his face. The asparagus looks concerned but knows he’s not wide enough. The pear and tomato are a little bug eyed but the cucumber’s mouth is wide open! Whatever black hole is bearing down on these vegetables, it seems to be accelerating towards him.

Dirty old clip art. 

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I’m Afraid of Raw Bok Choy: Skinny Green Smoothies

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How can I be afraid of something so cute? But I want these greens sautéed. Raw scares me and I had my husband try and got YEAH ITS GOOD when I wrote the ebook. Now I give the challenge to you. Come to @skinnysmoothies on twitter and tell me how it goes. I’m the @giantsweettart but that where I talk something AND ribaldry. 

Bok Choy Pineapple Cucumber Green Smoothie

Bok Choy is also known as “Chinese cabbage” and is a bitter green somewhere in taste between older kale leaves and dandelion greens. Coconut water and pineapple adds sweetness and just a teaspoon of sesame oil adds richness.

            2 stalks celery with leaves, ends trimmed and cut into chunks

            1 cup pineapple chunks or frozen, no-sugar added

            ½ cucumber, seeded and cut into chunks

            1 bananas, peeled and cut into chunks

            Coconut water or water, as needed

            10 bok choy leaves

            1 teaspoon sesame oil

            1-2 tablespoons chia or ground flax seeds

            Ice

 

  1. Add the celery stalks, pineapple, cucumber and banana, to the blender. Add coconut water or water to cover. Blend until smooth.
  2. Add the bok choy, oil, chia or flax seeds and additional liquid to cover. Blend.
  3. With the motor running, drop in the ice cubes one at a time until the desired consistency is reached.

 

Vegan, Vegetarian, Paleo, Low-Glycemic Index, Raw, Sugar-free, Gluten-free, Dairy-free, Corn-free

 

Tip in box: Use the thick white stems of bok choy in your green smoothies. There is lots of nutrition and fiber there.