Yeah, She’ll Do It When I’m Testing: Skinny Green Smoothie Cats

LOLcats is so over. Now, those sneaky furry things have their whiskers in our smoothies. What next? Sleeping in the bed?

When I test a new smoothie, I often have my back turned, whirling the drink, pouring, whirling more, adding something else. That’s when she makes her move: When I’m off balance. That’s when she switches from carnivore to herbivore without anything or anyone knowing it. Even God. That’s how sneaky the feline is…..

Black Cat Green Smoothie

Almond milk gives those wild spicy berries a place to dance. 

1-2 cups blackberries and/or blueberries

1 cup baby spinach leaves

1 tablespoon chopped mint (NOT catnip)

Juice of one lemon

2 tablespoons ground flax seeds

Unsweetened plain almond milk to cover


1. Put the fruit in the blender. Cover with spinach, mint, lemon juice and ground flax. Cover all with almond milk and whirl, dropping ice through the top of the blender until thick. Drink it. Don’t let the cat see. 



Mr. Raspberry Saw What You Did: Skinny Green Smoothies

Mr Raspberry saw you. He saw you throw a handful of his people into your blender and

 grind away. He thought, “this barbarism reminds me of Sarah Palin and the turkey.” He

 blushes. Then he thinks of the 19th century Grape-blight and die off. Millions heaped

 upon millions of unmoving, lifeless forms. He feels.


 What Mr. Raspberry doesn’t understand – like so many tragic heroes – it that the very

 thing that makes him beautiful – his red bursting color – is the reason he will die. That

 red means phytonutrients that flush out cells of toxins and fight internal inflammation

 that causes cancers and diabetes.


 That red has a special phytonutrient called a “raspberry ketone” that offers huge promise

 in the fight against obesity. Image what it can do for those last pesky 10 you just can’t



 Raspberry Rocket Green Smoothie    WEIGHT LOSS SPECIAL

 1 cup raspberries

1 teaspoon raspberry vinegar or lemon juice to taste

1 cup spinach

Juice of 1-2 oranges

1 tablespoon raw honey

1 tablespoon chia seeds 

Pure water


      1.Put the first three ingredients in the blender. Squeeze in the orange juice, add honey and seeds, and

       use water to cover any remaining ingredients.2Blend, dropping ice through the whirling machine to      

      make the smoothie cold and thick.


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