You Know What the Wisdom of Menopause Is? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

imagesMenopause is the world’s biggest con. Thirty-year old women, well-seasoned at childbirth, would fling themselves from water towers if they knew the humiliating, sleepless sweat-fest in store for them. Being peed and pooped on by children is nothing compared to breaking into a fop sweat on stage during a presentation. “Oh, just towel her off and keep going,” joked the CEO. Like NEVER. The day we shatter menopause is the day we shatter the glass ceiling.

Not an OB/GYN on the planet seemed to have ideas on how to mitigate my symptoms. The press, reporting on medical news, seemed to only offer sensationalized, contradictory material. Born into a family full of women dead of breast cancer, my options were tight.

Then, I did something revolutionary. <ironical statement>  I used food. I looked up the foods I really, really needed as my body was oozing estrogen and sweat. I figured out that for me, magnesium (as in MILK OF…) soothed my jumpiness and helped me sleep. When I got sleep, I didn’t seem to feel creepy in my skin the next day. And, if my skin didn’t creep, I wouldn’t sweat as much.

I looked up magnesium and found that spinach sat at the top of the list. Of great. You have to bring a wheelbarrow of the stuff home to cook up 2 servings. But  raw? It lasts forever. Knowing I would tire of spinach salads by Wednesday, I took to the blender.

I wrote this   Sure, it’s got a weight-loss title but it’s also a book about easing menopause symptoms because that’s what I had to do when I wrote it. Here, my sweaty lovely ladies are the foods to cram into your blender, at least twice a day, until you rid yourself of that dreadful “natural process.”

Here are my favorite five:

1. Raw spinach (a cup in every smoothie you make)

2. Banana (1/2 at a time to keep calories down)

3. Avocado (1/2 at a time and great for savory smoothies)

4. Cashews, Almonds and Peanuts   (Use first two as a nut milks, add peanut butter by the tablespoon)

5. Dark chocolate  (Use 75 – 80% fat cacao powder. It cleans out cells and helps with water retention.)

During peri-menopause, you’ll have to fight the good fight. Get aggressive with doctors, read, exercise a lot. Menopause is serious business and don’t you let anyone tell you it isn’t. Besides, no one can stand with their head in the freezer for two years. I tried.

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