1 in 13 Americans Conceived in a Library. Maybe.


A recent post about the sex I had in the library at Vanderbilt University led to an avalanche of sex-in-the-library information coming my way.

First, I thought I was special. The internet is here to point out I am not. Seems everyone does it in the library. It is even the preferred location of rousing phone sex at certain universities, perhaps because the threat of discovery in such a quiet place makes all the muffled cries so much sweeter.

Imagine half-murmuring, half-barking  “COME TO DADDY!”  in Medieval Japanese Arts. Imagine the cell phone recordings everyone on the floor make of you and post on YouTube. Imagine the jillions of other spots for phone sex that are better than this.

After winnowing out “college library phone sex” on Google, I found some 22 million, nine-hundred thousand mentions of f@cking in the library.  I then took my complete lack of reason and mathematical skills and divided the population of the United States – 316,000,000 – by the library-f@cker internet boasters and came to the conclusion that 1 in 13 Americans were probably conceived in the library.

This begs the question; If so many of us were made atop piles of information, wisdom and books, why’s everybody so dumb?

I just don’t have the answer for that.

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Above: Aisles at the Library of Congress