NO, IT’S A SKINNY GREEN SMOOTHIE

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           With my crowd, it’s been funny writing a health book. Most of them have spent time in physical rehab for wrist and elbow problems: tennis, skeet shooting, drinking alcohol. You know, typical repetitive stress injuries like from typing. 

           I can get them to drink many things, but I just cannot get them to drink a green one. John yelled “looks like the river in August!” when I made him one. Poppy asked if Diego had mowed the lawn. I gave Mrs. Pomeranze one and she said “Girl, you’ve been living in New York too long if this is what you drink…” 

         And so my trip to spread the word in Texas failed. But many have failed the first time. When I return and hear the shouts of IS THAT A DAQUIRI!, I’ll be even better armed with new and improved green smoothies. I’ll fight them off, just as the Commanches did all those years ago. 

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MAMA KNOWS: REACHING FOR AGELESSNESS WITH SKINNY GREEN SMOOTHIES

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I really don’t know what the abuela is reaching for…..I know what it’s SHAPED like and therefore, I would put it in a green smoothie.

That’s not to say I whirl all dick-shaped fruits and veggies. I do not. Sometimes, I set them on the counter and laugh at them. But fruits and vegetables are so agreeable, they grow in funny shapes just to amuse us. How can you NOT like them? 

So, I’m making a special green smoothie for strangely shaped fruits and veggies:

 

THE CROOKED BULBOUS GREEN SMOOTHIE

1 stalk celery, with leaves

1 cucumber, washed, halved, seeded and chopped

Juice of 1 lemon

2 peach halves drizzled with raw honey, preferably grilled with a little char

1 cup greens of your choice

1 tablespoon chia seeds 

Peach flavored dark tea to taste

Ice

Put the celery, cucumber and lemon in the blender and pulse until broken down.

Add the peaches, greens, chia and cover with the tea. Blend, adding ice through the top until the desired thickness is reached. Serve. 

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Yeah, She’ll Do It When I’m Testing: Skinny Green Smoothie Cats

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LOLcats is so over. Now, those sneaky furry things have their whiskers in our smoothies. What next? Sleeping in the bed?

When I test a new smoothie, I often have my back turned, whirling the drink, pouring, whirling more, adding something else. That’s when she makes her move: When I’m off balance. That’s when she switches from carnivore to herbivore without anything or anyone knowing it. Even God. That’s how sneaky the feline is…..

Black Cat Green Smoothie

Almond milk gives those wild spicy berries a place to dance. 

1-2 cups blackberries and/or blueberries

1 cup baby spinach leaves

1 tablespoon chopped mint (NOT catnip)

Juice of one lemon

2 tablespoons ground flax seeds

Unsweetened plain almond milk to cover

Ice

1. Put the fruit in the blender. Cover with spinach, mint, lemon juice and ground flax. Cover all with almond milk and whirl, dropping ice through the top of the blender until thick. Drink it. Don’t let the cat see. 

 

 

CLIP ART IS WEIRDLY COMPELLING: Skinny Green Smoothies

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 After writing a book that relies on fresh vegetables, I look for visuals that draw you in. Everyone does it these days

In my searches, images hurl from a distant pass reminding me of dittos, film strips, handouts and logos of yore. Retro, delightful, sweet.

But what’s up with the cucumber in this vegetable clip art? That guy knows he is going somewhere DARK. Look at his face. The asparagus looks concerned but knows he’s not wide enough. The pear and tomato are a little bug eyed but the cucumber’s mouth is wide open! Whatever black hole is bearing down on these vegetables, it seems to be accelerating towards him.

Dirty old clip art. 

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SLEEP AT NIGHT or you’ll do it conference rooms and look stupid: Skinny Green Smoothies

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I didn’t choose this picture of a dog because it’s #National Dog Day. Although I do love those furry fabulous pad-footed things,  But it’s off my topic and I paid attention in English class. 

I did not choose this photo  of the dog because he had a pineapple on his head. This amazing national holiday we celebrate today – National Dog Day – led me to a pineapple and thoughts of dogs.

Turns out pineapple has 288% more melatonin than FDA adult requirements. Almonds are way up there and so are leafy greens. Chamomile tea will also help you out as your base liquid….and I’ve just discovered another great addition to your pre-bedtime #SkinnyGreenSmoothies…….California Poppy….Oh yeah. That’s right, that distant cousin of heroin, in it’s flowering state, with send you to the land of nod with health and ease. Order off amazon.com and use a tablespoon at night. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz you go…….

Sleeper Smoothie

1 cup pineapple chunks

1 cup baby kale or spinach leaves

1 tablespoon California Poppy (order from amazon.com)

Camomille tea to cover

Ice

1. Put it in the blender through the tea. Begin blending, dropping ice cubes down through the top to make thick and cold. 

2. Drink a 1/2 before bed. Zzzzzzzzzzz.

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Mark Bittman and Dr Mark Hyman are Right: Skinny Green Smoothies can save

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It’s pretty clear that cow farts are killing mankind. It’s not the cows’ fault: They can and will fart any time they want. It’s fair.

 But agribusiness has grown as population and economy and marketing have grown and all those cow farts, rising together, have taken a big toll on our atmosphere and thus the health of human beings on the planet.

 That’s not to say that other animals aren’t contributing to this gaseous cloud. I’m sure the recent obsession with bacon has led to more pig farts and the fate of the planet is tied to the will of free markets. Are goats sending up information to this new cloud over Earth? What of horses, donkeys and camels? Maybe even the family dog is in on this mess.

 Then that pesky gaseous animal – the worst of them all – enters upright and revs his or her SUV and slips it into first. Groceries are bought and brought home, and the carbon footprint grows larger and larger. Forgotten milk and Jim’s favorite Hatch Chili Dusted Tortilla Chips were forgotten, so you go back: You, my dear, are an anti-Earth perfectionist.

 Car exhaust IS our giant contribution to the cow fart overhead, that and factories approved by the EPA. (I just couldn’t help that bitchy aside.) We plan poorly, overuse, and screw up our relationship with the greatest friend we ever had, Mother Earth.

 As Mark Bittman of The New York Times (Mr. Influencer) suggests, if we’d just eat one meal a day without meat some of this fart-petroleum exhaust cloud would dissipate.

 Why not pick breakfast or lunch as your vegetarian moment? Save some meat for day’s end and more time to chew at the table.

 Stick-to-the-Ribs Skinny Green Smoothie

 

For this recipe, leave a can of coconut milk in the refrigerator overnight. You will ONLY use the thick custard like coconut milk that solidifies in the cold can. This smoothie will keep you full for hours and hours.

 

½ avocado, pitted and flesh scooped out

¼ cup cold coconut milk solids

1 cup spinach

Juice of ½ orange

2 tablespoons chia seeds

Coconut water to taste

Ice

1.Put the avocado, coconut milk solids, spinach, orange and chia in the blender.

 2. Add coconut to cover and blend, dropping ice through the top of the blender. Serve.

 

 

 

 

FOODIES UNITE! Skinny Green Smoothies can be use our cool tricks too

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When I started writing Skinny Green Smoothies, I was a bit weirded out by the haphazardness of it all. Most folks loved just jamming everything in the blender jar and flipping the switch.

But I say THERE IS A WAY FORWARD for foodies. We don’t need more greens that taste, well, just green. There are about 500 books like that now. What we do need is a little sophistication.

MACERATE YOUR BERRIES. Now there’s a thought. It’s not cooking them, it changes the flavor completely, but it will require you to think ahead 20 minutes. For a cook, that’s nothing: We can watch a stew for days. Ahttp://amzn.to/1wsqHA2 cook has focus and knows the prize: FLAVOR FLAVOR FLAVOR

Take 1  cup strawberries and combine with 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar and 5 – 6 leaves of basil, shredded. Let sit, stirring occasionally, for 20 minutes. Use in a green smoothie and KISS THE SKY. (Sorry, Mr. Hendrix.)

Foodie Smoothie

1-2 cups marcerated berries with vinegar and shredded basil

1-2 cups spinach

Cold water to cover

Ice

1. Put the berries in the blender and the spinach over top. Cover with water and blend, dropping ice cubes through the top to make it cold. Serve.

PS. Vinegars and lemon juice help suppress appetite. Use whenever you can in your smoothies to assist in losing weight, if that’s what you are hoping to do. 

 

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LOOK FOR STUFF THAT EATS GRASS AND LIVE TO 150: Skinny Green Smoothies

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 I didn’t start this green smoothie thing. A human being DIDN’T start this green smoothie thing. I mean if you look into the mouths of animals, all you do is see them making green smoothies there.

Look at Livingston. He’s only 10 with another 140 years to go. His skin isn’t as soft as mine, but I think his has spurs for a reason. Some sort of need in the desert to protect himself.

His favorite green is collards. This is his smoothie:

 Livingston’s Smoothie

1 cup chopped cantaloupe

1-2 cups shredded collard greens

Juice of 1/2 lemon

1 tablespoon tumeric (for old joints)

2 tablespoons fresh chopped mint

Water

Ice

1. Put all the cantaloupe, greens, lemon, turmeric and mint in the blender. Cover with water.

2. Blend, dropping ice through the top until desired thickness is reached. Serve.

 

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Does EVERYTHING have to be raw: Skinny Green Smoothies for foodies

 

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Writing any kind of book is a strange experience. You learn all kinds of things AFTER you do it that you wish you had known before. Maybe you can’t see MACRO while whirling away in the MICRO of your blender, but there is something bigger going on here with this smoothie thing.

 First, it’s about ONE HAND. Being able to take in high-level nutrition while texting your Mother or BFF is a true innovation. Green smoothies provide this delivery service. I don’t think it’s as cool as Uber or Washio, but cool, you know, nevertheless.

 Second, does it ALL have to be raw? No, no it does not. Greens should be raw but what of other ingredients? Can I use my cook’s knowledge to make these nutritional delivery devices — that allow me to text constantly, by the way – taste better?

 Yes I can. I am not the Raw Family, for goodness sake. I know how to boost flavor by toasting dried spices in hot dry pan for 45 seconds. So I do it. Cinnamon and nutmeg flavor explode in my drinks.

 Why can’t I give my fruits a minute on the grill to carmelize natural sugars and create something more interesting for my tongue? I can if I want, so I do. I grill peaches with raw lavender honey or brush pineapple with mango and lime juice and sear it good. Then, and only then, does the blender whirl.

 Loosen up with the raw thing. This is bigger than all of us. This is about convenience and our lifestyle and our need for healthy greens. You can lay some other toasted flavors over the raw and I suggest you do. Green smoothies should also be about great tasting food.

 

Peach Festival Smoothie

 1 peach, halved and pitted

1 tablespoon raw or lavender honey

2 cups spinach

½ teaspoon cinnamon

Black or green tea as needed

Ice

1. Brush the peach halves with honey. Grill for 45 seconds to 1 minute over a hot fire or grill pan.

2. Add the grilled peaches to the blender with the spinach and cinnamon. Cover with tea and blend, dropping ice down through the top of the blender. Serve.

 

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WHY WE LOVE SMOOTHIES AND TACOS….Maybe it’s the phones…….

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I have a lot of really smart friends. They hang around with me because I’m funny and can cook. Tonight, I was hanging out with Bud Kennedy – he writes the “Good Eats’ column for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram – and he said “food is all about what you can hold in one hand…so you can TEXT. Just look on the TCU food website. Kids want food you can eat with one hand to keep the other hand free on the phone.”

It was a breakthrough moment for me. Now I realized why certain foods had become so popular in recent years…it was about one-handed foods – of which the green smoothie is one. Tacos are another. Wraps and rice balls rolled around in my mind as well.  Think about it. Makes sense. 

So then I decided we needed a special recipe for this. So here it is, below:

TEXTING GREEN SMOOTHIE

2 cups spinach

1 peach, halved and pitted

1 stalk celery, trimmed and roughly chopped 

Cashew milk, preferably homemade   (cashews are zinc-city and will clear pimples off young face like POW!)

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Ice

 

1. Put the spinach, peach and celery in the blender. Cover with cashew milk and blend until smooth, dropping ice cubes through the top of the blender until the desired consistency is reached. Serve

If you don’t know how to make cashew milk, you’ll find all the interesting nut milks in Skinny Green Smoothies. Give it try.

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