I VOWED not to spend one second of my life doing anything but mocking Donald Trump. The hair, the Eastern European model wife, the name splashed so big on buildings it screams “I have a tiny penis!” But then I heard two words: “woman card” as in playing the. I can even prove the two words came flying out of his sushi hole. (Thank you, CNN.)
I snapped. What a dick. What a stupid dick to disenfranchise more than 50% of the population. It was a bad strategy. But he’s a red-faced blurter and that’s a really really bad thing. For anybody, but especially politicians. I am sometimes surprised he can even hold his pee in at the lectern.
Women have quite a card to play, Donald, and you need to shut up:
Rape and murder since the beginning of human time.
White slavery, prostitution and child pornography.
Pay inequity and unpaid child support.
No voice in politics or economics for centuries.
Got the vote after freed male slaves.
Live under threat of punishment for a medical procedure THAT IS COMPLETELY LEGAL.
Members of the GOP in our vaginas, the worse indignity of all
And despite all that horror, no one plays the “woman card.” They get up in the morning and climb in their fighter to fight ISIS and keep his big pink butt safe. They run for President and no doubt will win. (I want him to get whooped by a girl). These women are mothers and teachers and doctors and lawyers. They don’t play the woman card. The show up, and every day that they do, they are in effect saying “shove it up your ass, Donald.”