I always put “tech” under tags because I think tech people invented the green smoothie. I think they invented it so they could stay at their computer clicking and sucking, sucking and clicking. I do it too. It may be wrong. It may be sad. But I do it too.  21st century Mommy-fixation? Probably.

And behind the computer, these two little guys were working. They hollowed out a watermelon and put spinach in the blender, packing it down with wee paws. They whirled and whirled, making a highly dangerous foray into your freezer for ice. Now they are exhausted and you need to drink up:


No-Click Labor Day Green Smoothie

3 kiwi fruit, peeled and chunked

1 cup pineapple chunks

1 stalk celery

Decaf green tea to taste

1 cup spinach, kale or beet greens, torn into chunks

2 tablespoons chia seeds


Put the kiwi, pineapple and celery in the blender and pulse to break down. Add a little of the tea to make the tornado in the blender jar, if needed.

Add the greens and chia seeds and cover all with tea. Blend, dropping ice down through the blender top. 


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WHAT COUGARS WANT: Follow this dude home



This guy really turns me on:

It is because I just finished writing this book:


I don’t care if he’s ugly from the front. I don’t care if he lives in a recycled shipping container. I just know he’s got the greens and I’ve got the blender and tons of speeds. My credit is so good I have the Lexus of blenders.  I’ve also got vintage Yves St Laurent to tote it in. 


He’s young and I’m older and that means fun.  OH BABY, LET’S WHIRL 


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I really don’t know what the abuela is reaching for…..I know what it’s SHAPED like and therefore, I would put it in a green smoothie.

That’s not to say I whirl all dick-shaped fruits and veggies. I do not. Sometimes, I set them on the counter and laugh at them. But fruits and vegetables are so agreeable, they grow in funny shapes just to amuse us. How can you NOT like them? 

So, I’m making a special green smoothie for strangely shaped fruits and veggies:



1 stalk celery, with leaves

1 cucumber, washed, halved, seeded and chopped

Juice of 1 lemon

2 peach halves drizzled with raw honey, preferably grilled with a little char

1 cup greens of your choice

1 tablespoon chia seeds 

Peach flavored dark tea to taste


Put the celery, cucumber and lemon in the blender and pulse until broken down.

Add the peaches, greens, chia and cover with the tea. Blend, adding ice through the top until the desired thickness is reached. Serve. 

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 After writing a book that relies on fresh vegetables, I look for visuals that draw you in. Everyone does it these days

In my searches, images hurl from a distant pass reminding me of dittos, film strips, handouts and logos of yore. Retro, delightful, sweet.

But what’s up with the cucumber in this vegetable clip art? That guy knows he is going somewhere DARK. Look at his face. The asparagus looks concerned but knows he’s not wide enough. The pear and tomato are a little bug eyed but the cucumber’s mouth is wide open! Whatever black hole is bearing down on these vegetables, it seems to be accelerating towards him.

Dirty old clip art.

I’m Afraid of Raw Bok Choy: Skinny Green Smoothies

How can I be afraid of something so cute? But I want these greens sautéed. Raw scares me and I had my husband try and got YEAH ITS GOOD when I wrote the ebook. Now I give the challenge to you. Come to @skinnysmoothies on twitter and tell me how it goes. I’m the @giantsweettart but that where I talk something AND ribaldry. 

Bok Choy Pineapple Cucumber Green Smoothie

Bok Choy is also known as “Chinese cabbage” and is a bitter green somewhere in taste between older kale leaves and dandelion greens. Coconut water and pineapple adds sweetness and just a teaspoon of sesame oil adds richness.

            2 stalks celery with leaves, ends trimmed and cut into chunks

            1 cup pineapple chunks or frozen, no-sugar added

            ½ cucumber, seeded and cut into chunks

            1 bananas, peeled and cut into chunks

            Coconut water or water, as needed

            10 bok choy leaves

            1 teaspoon sesame oil

            1-2 tablespoons chia or ground flax seeds



  1. Add the celery stalks, pineapple, cucumber and banana, to the blender. Add coconut water or water to cover. Blend until smooth.
  2. Add the bok choy, oil, chia or flax seeds and additional liquid to cover. Blend.
  3. With the motor running, drop in the ice cubes one at a time until the desired consistency is reached.


Vegan, Vegetarian, Paleo, Low-Glycemic Index, Raw, Sugar-free, Gluten-free, Dairy-free, Corn-free


Tip in box: Use the thick white stems of bok choy in your green smoothies. There is lots of nutrition and fiber there.

SLEEP AT NIGHT or you’ll do it conference rooms and look stupid: Skinny Green Smoothies

I didn’t choose this picture of a dog because it’s #National Dog Day. Although I do love those furry fabulous pad-footed things,  But it’s off my topic and I paid attention in English class. 

I did not choose this photo  of the dog because he had a pineapple on his head. This amazing national holiday we celebrate today – National Dog Day – led me to a pineapple and thoughts of dogs.

Turns out pineapple has 288% more melatonin than FDA adult requirements. Almonds are way up there and so are leafy greens. Chamomile tea will also help you out as your base liquid….and I’ve just discovered another great addition to your pre-bedtime #SkinnyGreenSmoothies…….California Poppy….Oh yeah. That’s right, that distant cousin of heroin, in it’s flowering state, with send you to the land of nod with health and ease. Order off and use a tablespoon at night. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz you go…….

Sleeper Smoothie

1 cup pineapple chunks

1 cup baby kale or spinach leaves

1 tablespoon California Poppy (order from

Camomille tea to cover


1. Put it in the blender through the tea. Begin blending, dropping ice cubes down through the top to make thick and cold. 

2. Drink a 1/2 before bed. Zzzzzzzzzzz.

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Mark Bittman and Dr Mark Hyman are Right: Skinny Green Smoothies can save


It’s pretty clear that cow farts are killing mankind. It’s not the cows’ fault: They can and will fart any time they want. It’s fair.

 But agribusiness has grown as population and economy and marketing have grown and all those cow farts, rising together, have taken a big toll on our atmosphere and thus the health of human beings on the planet.

 That’s not to say that other animals aren’t contributing to this gaseous cloud. I’m sure the recent obsession with bacon has led to more pig farts and the fate of the planet is tied to the will of free markets. Are goats sending up information to this new cloud over Earth? What of horses, donkeys and camels? Maybe even the family dog is in on this mess.

 Then that pesky gaseous animal – the worst of them all – enters upright and revs his or her SUV and slips it into first. Groceries are bought and brought home, and the carbon footprint grows larger and larger. Forgotten milk and Jim’s favorite Hatch Chili Dusted Tortilla Chips were forgotten, so you go back: You, my dear, are an anti-Earth perfectionist.

 Car exhaust IS our giant contribution to the cow fart overhead, that and factories approved by the EPA. (I just couldn’t help that bitchy aside.) We plan poorly, overuse, and screw up our relationship with the greatest friend we ever had, Mother Earth.

 As Mark Bittman of The New York Times (Mr. Influencer) suggests, if we’d just eat one meal a day without meat some of this fart-petroleum exhaust cloud would dissipate.

 Why not pick breakfast or lunch as your vegetarian moment? Save some meat for day’s end and more time to chew at the table.

 Stick-to-the-Ribs Skinny Green Smoothie


For this recipe, leave a can of coconut milk in the refrigerator overnight. You will ONLY use the thick custard like coconut milk that solidifies in the cold can. This smoothie will keep you full for hours and hours.


½ avocado, pitted and flesh scooped out

¼ cup cold coconut milk solids

1 cup spinach

Juice of ½ orange

2 tablespoons chia seeds

Coconut water to taste


1.Put the avocado, coconut milk solids, spinach, orange and chia in the blender.

 2. Add coconut to cover and blend, dropping ice through the top of the blender. Serve.






 I didn’t start this green smoothie thing. A human being DIDN’T start this green smoothie thing. I mean if you look into the mouths of animals, all you do is see them making green smoothies there.

Look at Livingston. He’s only 10 with another 140 years to go. His skin isn’t as soft as mine, but I think his has spurs for a reason. Some sort of need in the desert to protect himself.

His favorite green is collards. This is his smoothie:

 Livingston’s Smoothie

1 cup chopped cantaloupe

1-2 cups shredded collard greens

Juice of 1/2 lemon

1 tablespoon tumeric (for old joints)

2 tablespoons fresh chopped mint



1. Put all the cantaloupe, greens, lemon, turmeric and mint in the blender. Cover with water.

2. Blend, dropping ice through the top until desired thickness is reached. Serve.


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Does EVERYTHING have to be raw: Skinny Green Smoothies for foodies

Writing any kind of book is a strange experience. You learn all kinds of things AFTER you do it that you wish you had known before. Maybe you can’t see MACRO while whirling away in the MICRO of your blender, but there is something bigger going on here with this smoothie thing.

 First, it’s about ONE HAND. Being able to take in high-level nutrition while texting your Mother or BFF is a true innovation. Green smoothies provide this delivery service. I don’t think it’s as cool as Uber or Washio, but cool, you know, nevertheless.

 Second, does it ALL have to be raw? No, no it does not. Greens should be raw but what of other ingredients? Can I use my cook’s knowledge to make these nutritional delivery devices — that allow me to text constantly, by the way – taste better?

 Yes I can. I am not the Raw Family, for goodness sake. I know how to boost flavor by toasting dried spices in hot dry pan for 45 seconds. So I do it. Cinnamon and nutmeg flavor explode in my drinks.

 Why can’t I give my fruits a minute on the grill to carmelize natural sugars and create something more interesting for my tongue? I can if I want, so I do. I grill peaches with raw lavender honey or brush pineapple with mango and lime juice and sear it good. Then, and only then, does the blender whirl.

 Loosen up with the raw thing. This is bigger than all of us. This is about convenience and our lifestyle and our need for healthy greens. You can lay some other toasted flavors over the raw and I suggest you do. Green smoothies should also be about great tasting food.


Peach Festival Smoothie

 1 peach, halved and pitted

1 tablespoon raw or lavender honey

2 cups spinach

½ teaspoon cinnamon

Black or green tea as needed


1. Brush the peach halves with honey. Grill for 45 seconds to 1 minute over a hot fire or grill pan.

2. Add the grilled peaches to the blender with the spinach and cinnamon. Cover with tea and blend, dropping ice down through the top of the blender. Serve.


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WHY WE LOVE SMOOTHIES AND TACOS….Maybe it’s the phones…….


I have a lot of really smart friends. They hang around with me because I’m funny and can cook. Tonight, I was hanging out with Bud Kennedy – he writes the “Good Eats’ column for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram – and he said “food is all about what you can hold in one hand…so you can TEXT. Just look on the TCU food website. Kids want food you can eat with one hand to keep the other hand free on the phone.”

It was a breakthrough moment for me. Now I realized why certain foods had become so popular in recent years…it was about one-handed foods – of which the green smoothie is one. Tacos are another. Wraps and rice balls rolled around in my mind as well.  Think about it. Makes sense. 

So then I decided we needed a special recipe for this. So here it is, below:


2 cups spinach

1 peach, halved and pitted

1 stalk celery, trimmed and roughly chopped 

Cashew milk, preferably homemade   (cashews are zinc-city and will clear pimples off young face like POW!)

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon



1. Put the spinach, peach and celery in the blender. Cover with cashew milk and blend until smooth, dropping ice cubes through the top of the blender until the desired consistency is reached. Serve

If you don’t know how to make cashew milk, you’ll find all the interesting nut milks in Skinny Green Smoothies. Give it try.

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