5 WAYS TO NOT BE AS FAT

Unknown-11. SLEEP – If you need 8 or 9 hours, make sure you get it. Nothing makes you binge eat quicker than exhaustion. You just can’t fill that hole where the zzzzzzs go.

2. DRINK –   Every time you want a snack  make one of these.  (CLICK HERE) They take  45 seconds to 1 minute to prepare. New and healthy ingredients flow into the house when you are on the smoothie trail. The milkshake quality feels like a treat and the nutrition keeps you full and feeling good, something you probably aren’t that used to.  In between these “stealth health” smoothie snacks, drink water. Lots. Put slices of lemon and cucumber in it. Drink it with your pinky in the air.

3.  EAT – Eat lots of foods with color. White foods such as flour, potatoes, pasta and refined sugar will do you in before your time. It’s that simple and it’s your choice. Green, red, yellow and orange should paint your plate.

4.  LAUGH – Modern life has simply created more stress than our bodies know how to process. You have to give up some of the worry if you want to really live. (Colbert, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and John Oliver are good too.) Visualization, mindfulness, meditation and naps can all lead you into the rest zone.  Stress releases cortisol which sends globs of fat to the middle of the body. You have to lower stress levels to lower cortisol levels to lower belly fat levels. So laugh. Blow it off. Go surfing. Tomorrow is another day.

5.  LIVE – All this fat business is boring. Stop thinking so much about it. Do one thing today to lessen your caloric intake. Do one thing tomorrow that gets you a little rest. Be easy on yourself.  You are the one that needs to be happy with your body, no one else.

And me? Some fat is okay because I’m going for really strong.

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No, they are not part of your book group.

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These beauties are here because of their diet: Greens and oats. The #greens in green #smoothies you have covered – spinach, kale – but the oats are problematic.

Not so. Take 1/2 cup old-fashioned oats (the good kind that really does cut into cholesterol), put it into your blender first and grind away. You can have your oat-laced smoothie as chunky or smooth as you’d like. Add the rest of your ingredients to the powdery – or not – oatmeal.

I believe oatmeal goes best with a base of banana or yogurt, but hey, it’s your smoothie.

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Something Kinda Dirty About ‘Em: Bell Peppers Sucked Up a Straw

I don’t put green, yellow or red peppers in my smoothies or juices, as you can plainly see here: http://ow.ly/CgkNy.

I just don’t like the way they taste whirled with the other ingredients I require in a smoothie. If you slip me a smoothie with raw broccoli, I’ll buck like a wild ass. Peppers come in at an icky #2.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t add them to green smoothies, if you like them. Despite the feel of moist pith, peppers have massive amounts of vitamin C, more than oranges. Their antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties – one cleans out the body from skin to cells and the other brings down internal swelling in joints and elsewhere – are huge. And these wonder nutrients are destroyed by high heat. Consume raw.

You want RIPE bell peppers. Oh, can do you tell? you howl. Their vitamin content is at its highest when ripe and that’s pretty high. The only veggie that can come near bell peppers in nutrition is a fruit – – Mr. Tomato. A ripe bell pepper may change from green to red. It may not. The color deepens, though, and the vegetable should feel heavy and dense in the hand. You can leave peppers ripening in a brown bag for up to 10 days after bringing home from the market.

Put chunks of ripe pepper in your next green smoothie. I’d slip it into avocado-based drinks. Don’t be like me; be smart and use this superfood. And if you garden, grow as many as you can.

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YES, I’M AN ADDICT AND LITTLE DEBBIE DID IT.

http://amzn.to/Y9nJkV

I have struggled with alcohol, my weight, how I fold my sheets, why I can’t remember to pick up milk or swing by the dry cleaners. I have also enjoyed addictions to specific men. What I have never understood, though, is what sends me over the edge. I go from “person who might be addicted” to “addicted as hell” in three seconds flat.

Then I wrote this book.  http://amzn.to/Y9nJkV  For the first time since puberty probably, I was off sugar. I didn’t want it. Didn’t think about it. More importantly, other dogs of addiction stopped barking as well. I didn’t get all high on sugar and start saying and doing stupid stuff.  I could have saved a bunch of money at Passages Malibu if someone had told me this shit.

So, I’m telling you: Watch the sugar. Watch your moods. Watch your behaviors. After the sugar changes your mood you are probably saying and doing destructive things. This is how we fix it.  

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NO REST FOR THE WICKED: Labor Day

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I always put “tech” under tags because I think tech people invented the green smoothie. I think they invented it so they could stay at their computer clicking and sucking, sucking and clicking. I do it too. It may be wrong. It may be sad. But I do it too.  21st century Mommy-fixation? Probably.

And behind the computer, these two little guys were working. They hollowed out a watermelon and put spinach in the blender, packing it down with wee paws. They whirled and whirled, making a highly dangerous foray into your freezer for ice. Now they are exhausted and you need to drink up:

 

No-Click Labor Day Green Smoothie

3 kiwi fruit, peeled and chunked

1 cup pineapple chunks

1 stalk celery

Decaf green tea to taste

1 cup spinach, kale or beet greens, torn into chunks

2 tablespoons chia seeds

Ice

Put the kiwi, pineapple and celery in the blender and pulse to break down. Add a little of the tea to make the tornado in the blender jar, if needed.

Add the greens and chia seeds and cover all with tea. Blend, dropping ice down through the blender top. 

 

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WHAT COUGARS WANT: Follow this dude home

 

 

This guy really turns me on:

It is because I just finished writing this book:  http://amzn.to/Y3SS9p

 

I don’t care if he’s ugly from the front. I don’t care if he lives in a recycled shipping container. I just know he’s got the greens and I’ve got the blender and tons of speeds. My credit is so good I have the Lexus of blenders.  I’ve also got vintage Yves St Laurent to tote it in. 

 

He’s young and I’m older and that means fun.  OH BABY, LET’S WHIRL 

 

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NO, IT’S A SKINNY GREEN SMOOTHIE

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           With my crowd, it’s been funny writing a health book. Most of them have spent time in physical rehab for wrist and elbow problems: tennis, skeet shooting, drinking alcohol. You know, typical repetitive stress injuries like from typing. 

           I can get them to drink many things, but I just cannot get them to drink a green one. John yelled “looks like the river in August!” when I made him one. Poppy asked if Diego had mowed the lawn. I gave Mrs. Pomeranze one and she said “Girl, you’ve been living in New York too long if this is what you drink…” 

         And so my trip to spread the word in Texas failed. But many have failed the first time. When I return and hear the shouts of IS THAT A DAQUIRI!, I’ll be even better armed with new and improved green smoothies. I’ll fight them off, just as the Commanches did all those years ago. 

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MAMA KNOWS: REACHING FOR AGELESSNESS WITH SKINNY GREEN SMOOTHIES

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I really don’t know what the abuela is reaching for…..I know what it’s SHAPED like and therefore, I would put it in a green smoothie.

That’s not to say I whirl all dick-shaped fruits and veggies. I do not. Sometimes, I set them on the counter and laugh at them. But fruits and vegetables are so agreeable, they grow in funny shapes just to amuse us. How can you NOT like them? 

So, I’m making a special green smoothie for strangely shaped fruits and veggies:

 

THE CROOKED BULBOUS GREEN SMOOTHIE

1 stalk celery, with leaves

1 cucumber, washed, halved, seeded and chopped

Juice of 1 lemon

2 peach halves drizzled with raw honey, preferably grilled with a little char

1 cup greens of your choice

1 tablespoon chia seeds 

Peach flavored dark tea to taste

Ice

Put the celery, cucumber and lemon in the blender and pulse until broken down.

Add the peaches, greens, chia and cover with the tea. Blend, adding ice through the top until the desired thickness is reached. Serve. 

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Don’t Be A Fat Head: Losing and Gaining Weight Rewires Your Brain

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Guys like Dr Mark Hyman have been telling us this stuff for years. Food actually changes your DNA. (www.mrmarkyman.com). You can get your own metabolism to process fat faster, keep blood sugar levels stable so you don’t get cravings, satisfy food needs you misread as a need for a Snickers, unswell joints, clear your head and sleep better. Green #smoothies are a great little delivery device for all that. 

Here’s the next logical step: Not only does food have an impact on your DNA, it changes your neurology as well. You gain and lose a lot of weight, drop weight quickly and put it back on, etc., and as you do so, you rewire your brain for a resistance to weight loss. Your nerve literally send out signals you don’t want them too when you try to drop weight. This sucks. 

DO NOT go up and down with your weight. Lose it responsibly, with balance and logic. If you don’t, it literally messes with your head. So STOP IT. 

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